I am a 22 year old who feels sort of
like I'm ten. I love ghost stories, pretty
much any type of tea, british &
egyptian history, photography, wp,
and my favourite band is SoCo. I'm
also a bit of a Georgia Nicolson addict.
Ohmygiddygod. I think it’s time for a change.
12.11.08 | 10am | (1)
I have spent so many years of my life worrying about other people - trying to please other people. I guess in a way we can’t really help it, humans, that is. For most of us, I believe, it’s in our nature. However, those of us whose nature it’s in, end up worrying and caring about the wrong people half of the time. The people that you want to talk to, the people you want to spend time with, for me anyway, end up being the people that couldn’t give two shits less about you. And that really really sucks.
I’ve spent the last four and a half years chasing after something, that I guess in my head, in my heart I knew wouldn’t happen, but I had hope. I figured everything could go wrong, but there could be a chance that everything could go right to, and that chance was worth far more than anything I’d gain from giving up. We pick and choose our battles, and it was MY mistake that I thought this was one that would turn out in my favor. I’m trying to be strong, I’m trying to forget about it, tell myself that I’m better off, and tell myself that at some point something will come around and all of the lessons I’ve learned and all of the hope I’ve placed in all the wrong people will give me the strength to care about somebody as much as they care about me. I have all the hope in the world.
But like I said, sometimes things work out for the best, and sometimes they go horribly wrong. I want to keep hope, I want to keep faith, but I’m afraid that if I do, and things turn out wrong again that there will be no hope or faith left to be had.
I’ve spent the last four and a half years chasing after something, that I guess in my head, in my heart I knew wouldn’t happen, but I had hope. I figured everything could go wrong, but there could be a chance that everything could go right to, and that chance was worth far more than anything I’d gain from giving up. We pick and choose our battles, and it was MY mistake that I thought this was one that would turn out in my favor. I’m trying to be strong, I’m trying to forget about it, tell myself that I’m better off, and tell myself that at some point something will come around and all of the lessons I’ve learned and all of the hope I’ve placed in all the wrong people will give me the strength to care about somebody as much as they care about me. I have all the hope in the world.
But like I said, sometimes things work out for the best, and sometimes they go horribly wrong. I want to keep hope, I want to keep faith, but I’m afraid that if I do, and things turn out wrong again that there will be no hope or faith left to be had.